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Monday, June 2, 2008

Reason doesn't work--yelling does (originally posted on SnipeMe.com)

It was just such a slap in the face that I feel the need to write an entire rant based on it. The following quote is from a StumbleUpon user, deg5000:

Dear Internet, If you want people to listen to you, a well developed argument is always more effective than a screaming, cursing rant.


Deg gave my rant a thumbs down. Excuse me while I curl up in the corner crying and cutting myself....

Ok, now that I've been bleed dry, I think Deg deserves a response. Surely you think Deg's highly intelligent and aware-of-the-world-we-live-in comment deserves a nice polite response from me, right?

Dear Deg5000,

No, you fucking retarded bag of monkey shit, people do NOT respond to a well-reasoned arguement; at all. If you bothered to read more than 2 paragraphs of this website, you'd perhaps understand a thing or two about my mission here. But you haven't and you don't, which is evidenced by the fucking idiotic statements made by you and others.

Sincerely,
Lord Galen

You see, friends, our pal Deg here is under an all-too-common assumption. She assumes that reason and logic, useful as it is, will win out in the end. She is completely fucking wrong. I'm a great fan of reason and logic; I prize it over emotionalism ANY day. However, I'm not sitting here with a website for writing messages to myself. I'm here to communicate to the world at large and, boys and girls, the world at large consists of a bunch of screaming idiots who don't know how to string together two consecutive well-reasoned thoughts.

I'm sick of this misconception, and especially of its impact on me. People, in general, are NOT rational creatures! You should not be giving them the benefit of the doubt by assuming that they are when all observable evidence shows that they aren't! People are fucking morons so, yes, I talk to them like fucking morons!

Most of the people reading this rant right now are completely beneath me. You can sit there and call that arrogance if you want. You're right. I'm very arrogant, and with good reason. I am, quite frankly, more intelligent and aware of how humanity operates than almost everyone to which I've ever spoken. It is obvious to me that most of you don't have the first damn CLUE what you're talking about most of the time.

In spite of this, I actually DO try to use both vitriolic language AND reason. I can do both. Just because you can't... well, that's your shortcoming, keep it to yourself, asshole. What would happen, I wonder, if I ever tried JUST using a well-reasoned calm argument? People would fall asleep, for one. Let us not forget that, first and foremost, this is an ENTERTAINMENT website. They'd also overlook it as psuedo-intellectual bullshit; nothing but statistics and dry point-by-point rebuttal or analysis of a given situation. That's not what I'm here for. If you want that, there are plenty of message boards and Wikipedia talk pages you can read.

Let me explain, you idiots, why I write all the shit that I do.

IT'S CUZ I'M ANGRY!!!!

You fucking moron. They're called "Galen's Rants" not "Galen's Calm Dissertations On Life" or "Galen's Logical Synopsis Of The Wrongs Of The World." THEY'RE RANTS, ASSHOLE! Venomous, angry, hate-filled, expressions of pure outrage - EMPHASIS ON THE RAGE!

People who have even a marginal degree of intelligence and are able to see just exactly HOW badly fucked up the world is should be angry about it; and they are! I'm on a life raft, floating in the middle of an ocean of idiocy on a planet of retards! YEAH BUDDY, I'M FUCKING PISSED OFF AND I'M GONNA SCREAM ABOUT IT! DON'T LIKE IT? THEN SUCK A COCK AND CHOKE TO DEATH, BITCH!

Y'know what DOES work when calm rationality fails? Getting pissed and yelling! Let me give you an example. One of the first bank accounts my wife and I opened together was at one of the major banks in South Africa (where we lived at the time). It was a savings accounts and in order to deposit money from an ATM, you needed a PIN number, of course. In order to get a PIN, you had to go to the bank and request one, since savings accounts don't come with ATM access by default (the point being to leave money IN the account). The wife and I went 4 or 5 different times to get a PIN. Every time, we sat in that bank for hours waiting on someone to come help us. We'd told them why we were there and they said they'd get to us. They never did. So eventually, we get this strongly-worded letter from the bank telling us that our account was overdrawn and we owed penalty fees to the bank, blah blah blah. Well gee, no shit genius, we don't have any way to deposit money INTO the account, unless we wanted to wait 5 hours for someone to serve us at the bank! How did I respond to this slab of bullshit? Was I calm and reasonable? Nope. Calm and reasonable was patiently waiting for hours on end while bank employees chatted away instead of doing their fucking jobs. I replied to the letter via e-mail, congratulating the person who'd sent it on making a fool of himself. I then proceeded to explain the situation and ask that they send a similiar letter to their idiotic staff who were apparently too damn incompotent to do their jobs. I was extremely rude, obnoxious, and abrasive. And what did that get me? A call from a bank manager the next day, asking what she could do to rectify the situation.

Reason and calmness are percieved as weakness by the lower-minded (which is the majority of people). Use it too much and they will walk right over you. Why shouldn't they? You're no threat; just some timid little asshole who sits there trying to calmly explain what's wrong. Fuck you, I'd walk all over your pansy little ass too! No, my friends, what idiots respond to is in-your-face loudness. People RESPOND to anger! It's something they can certainly understand! If I have cause to be SO fucking angry that I get on here ranting and raving about an injustice, well there must be something to it! That's how people think. The fact that I have a good well-reasoned argument backing me up is just icing on the cake. It'll allow them to rationally justify being angry, because I've justified it for them.

In fucking retarded kiddy play-play land, you're taught to keep your emotions in check and calmly discuss the problems you have with other people. In real life, people don't give two dried-up shits about your faggoty little "feelings." Unless your feeling has some urgency to it, they don't care. When I walk into somewhere pissed off and I let it show, they don't really care what my problem is. They care that I'm causing a scene and being loud and they want me to STFU and go away, so they'll be nice and take care of the problem.

Most people are uncomfortable with confrontation. Good. This site talks about a lot of very uncomfortable topics. I WANT you to be fucking uncomfortable and, more importantly, I WANT to start some neurons firing in your head to make you THINK. But if I don't hit those base emotions first to kickstart your brain, you'll pass right by and not give a flying fuck in the dark about what I have to say.

Love it or hate it, when I yell and scream and threaten to tear someone's asshole out, you fucking pay attention! Now shut the motherfucking hell up, you spineless little emo weasel and go cut yourself to release all the pain you feel from mommy not hugging you enough and daddy hugging you from behind with his dick whipped out.

Reason and logic don't get through to people; they don't care. Emotions are what make the world go round. End of story. It's wrong and reasoning SHOULD be enough, but it isn't. I deal in reality, not in how I wish the world worked. Fuck off with your peacenick crap.

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